"We Really Can't Have Sh*t Anymore": The Internet Is Having An Existential Crisis Over This SERIOUSLY Unhinged Fortune Cookie A Guy Got At A Restaurant
Can't believe I'm having nostalgia for "All your hard work will soon pay off."

As a Resident Writer here at BuzzFeed, I cover topics like politics, weird history, tech, trending viral stories, and other various corners of the internet. I am a chronically online nerd who loves pop culture, Chicago, endless scrolling, and a good Wikipedia rabbit hole.
In my free time, I write satire and humor, as well as hot takes on internet news. When I'm not writing, I can usually be found playing Civ VI, watching reality TV, or trying to bake something that ends up tasting good but looks like it got run over by a garbage truck.
Can't believe I'm having nostalgia for "All your hard work will soon pay off."
We need to have a very serious discussion about whatever is going on with that mac 'n' cheese.
Under 60 and just trying to pay rent? He's just like me fr.
Just uh...checking to make sure I haven't done any of this stuff...
I still can't figure out how that thing functions as a suitcase.
Skyler was most definitely a pleasure to have in class.
Let me know if that acorn ever hatches, please.
Turns out a few tiny changes in behavior can prevent some BIG issues down the road.
We need to have a very serious discussion about whatever is going on with that mac 'n' cheese.
Let me know if that acorn ever hatches, please.
I still can't figure out how that thing functions as a suitcase.
There's nothing wrong with asking for help (unless there's a line of 10 very annoyed people waiting behind you).
Skyler was most definitely a pleasure to have in class.
Just uh...checking to make sure I haven't done any of this stuff...
Under 60 and just trying to pay rent? He's just like me fr.